Let’s just be honest: sometimes marriage feels like a holy tag-team… and sometimes it feels like you’re trying to do life with a grown toddler who eats snacks loudly and forgets how to say “thank you.”
It’s in those moments, when your eye is twitching and your tone is getting “less than saved”—that God says:
“Daughter, respect him.”
“Son, love her.”
And you’re over there like, “Are You serious right now?”
Yes. He’s serious.
Paul Wrote It, But God Authored It
Let’s clear something up for those who like to side-eye Scripture because “Paul wrote it.”
Yes, Paul wrote Ephesians 5, but he didn’t just wake up one day and decide to ruin your feminist dreams or your alpha male superiority complex.
“All Scripture is God-breathed…” – 2 Timothy 3:16
Paul was filled with the Holy Spirit and wrote under divine inspiration. So yes, God said it. Paul was the pen, but God was the Author.
So when the Bible says:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord…” – Ephesians 5:22
“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
…it’s not optional. It’s not a suggestion. It’s not “do it when your spouse has been cute and cooperative.” It’s a command.
God’s Design: Not Pinterest-Pretty, But Spiritually Powerful
You know how women tend to love deeply, and men tend to crave respect? That’s by God’s design. So what does He do? He commands:
- Husbands: LOVE your wives. (Because it doesn’t come naturally.)
- Wives: RESPECT your husbands. (Because it doesn’t come easily.)
God literally said, “Let Me sanctify you by making you give what costs you something.”
Thanks, Lord. Appreciate the spiritual cardio.
The Cycle That Needs to Die (Along with Your Ego)
Let’s talk about The Cycle:
- She doesn’t feel loved, so she disrespects.
- He doesn’t feel respected, so he stops loving.
Repeat until your home feels more like a cold war than a covenant.
So on that note, let me lovingly slap your conscience real quick:
YOU can break the cycle.
Yes, you. With your attitude. With your obedience. With your decision to obey God even when you don’t feel like it.
Because God never said, “Respect your husband if he earns it,” or “Love your wife if she’s acting like a Proverbs 31 goddess that day.”
He said, obey Me.
Obedience Is the Paddle. Use Yours.
Marriage is like rowing a canoe. Two paddles, one boat. Now imagine your spouse throws their paddle into the river and folds their arms.
You’ve got two choices:
- Drop your paddle and sink together.
- Keep rowing in circles but stay in motion.
Here’s the secret: God can do more with one surrendered heart than two prideful ones sitting in silence blaming each other.
Use your paddle. Your obedience might be the very thing that gets your spouse back in the game.
“But Lord…They’re the Problem!”
Listen, I know you’re holy, right? You read devotionals. You go to church. You don’t even cuss—out loud. But let’s not act brand new.
God didn’t call you to change your spouse. He called you to change you.
That rolling of the eyes? That sarcasm? That “fine, whatever” energy?
Yeah… none of that is fruit of the Spirit.
You want God to fix your spouse? Cool. But understand: He’s going to start with your heart.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God…” – Psalm 51:10
Not them, Lord. Me.
Marriage Is Ministry, Not a Fairy Tale
Let’s be real—marriage is not about finding someone who gives you butterflies. It’s about finding someone you’re willing to die to self for over and over again.
Husbands, love her when she’s tired and moody and irrational (and yes, sometimes that’s all before 10 AM).
Wives, respect him when he doesn’t lead like you want, pray like you hoped, or fold laundry like an Instagram husband.
Do it because God sees.
Do it because obedience honors heaven.
Do it because your marriage is preaching something, and it better be the gospel, not gossip.
Obedience Opens the Door to Miracles
If you’re waiting for your spouse to act right before you obey God, you’re saying your obedience is dependent on their performance.
That’s not spiritual maturity. That’s manipulation dressed in holy clothes.
So here’s the challenge:
Love when it’s hard. Respect when it feels unfair. Obey when it’s uncomfortable.
And watch what God does when just one person in the marriage says:
“Lord, not my will—but Yours be done… even in my marriage.”
Let Us Pray…
God, help me shut my mouth when I want to clap back.
Help me lead with honor when I feel hurt.
Teach me to love beyond emotion and obey beyond logic.
Change my home by changing me first. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
kingdomodesty.com 